Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Angel Has Fury
All toddlers have a dark side. Our little angels turn into to into someone that we don't even recognize as they are learning their boundaries and their dislikes. Little triggers of tantrums are unavoidable in a world that is unfair, even to us, as adults. Some people throw things; some people cry; some people hit; some people just shut down. We all handle stresses and disappointments differently. In the mind of a child, irritation can become outrage - if only for five minutes. In the mind of my Asperger's son, irritation can become outrage, then can become fury - for half an hour or longer. Where did my angel go? This human emotion of anger is natural for all of us, but with Alden, at the age of three, it seems exacerbated and uncontrolled when he is overloaded with information that he cannot decipher or the organized world that he created around him simply falls into disarray. Alden is just not sure how to channel his anger and frustration. In his line up of toys, mostly hotwheel cars, or now, car characters from the movie, "CARS,"one falls out of line, the world ends for a moment. It is best that his sister not be in his path, for she may fall victim to his catastrophy. To Alden, it is such that... a catastrophy. This thickened emotion ails Alden especially when he is tired. Alden is a wonderful, little guy most of the time. However, lately, the meltdowns seem to occur when we leave somewhere that he wants to stay or just before he goes to bed. Screaming, kicking, hitting, pushing - his outlet to finding his way back to good. Recently, I seem to find myself avoiding going places because, though he is only three, he seems to possess superhero strength during these meltdowns. Funny how anger is inherent, but patience is learned. We are teaching Alden to use his words when he is frustrated, which is so difficult for him in his rote world of extrinsic language. Patience and breathe... patience and breathe... patience and breathe... Hugs, kisses, persistence, and consistency, then more hugs and kisses. The angel has fury, but the rage of momma's demure will prevail.